Toot Your Horn Tuesday - God through me

(posting this a bit early, time is sparse this week)
As some of you know, my family has been on a journey with my stepfather. He was diagnosed with lung cancer this past July. And now we have come to the end of the battle. We've had a vigil by his bedside for the past 5 days. He is in between this world and the next. And although this seems like an odd time to toot my horn, I'd like to share what God's power has done through me. Our family has had a strength and calmness that can only be explained as a miracle.

My Dad was discharged from the hospital just over 2 weeks ago. And in this short time, he has experienced all the wrath of this monsterous disease. Symptoms include, pain, weakness, breathing problems, confusion and aggitation. My mother, my aunt and I have become his nurses and spiritual advisors. Cancer attacks not only your body, but also your soul. When he was still speaking clearly, he told us many many times that he is not afraid to die and that he knows he will be with Jesus. That is the most comforting part!!

Other relatives have gathered by his side these past days. We have been in constant prayer. We sing hymns, read verses and best of all, we love on each other! So, today I toot my horn for being God's vessel of love in my Dad's last days.

Now don't be afraid to share your "toot." We will all face these trials in our lifetimes. It's my time now, but life does go on. I love to hear about your blessings or accomplishments no matter how small they might seem. I lift you up in whatever you face today!

Sign the linky below if you've written a "Toot Your Horn Tuesday" post. Don't forget, you can leave comments below too. :)

Day by Day

Well it's been ages since I've written and I'm not going to write much now either. I've been riding this dismal cancer carnival ride along with my step-dad and the rest of our exhausted family.

Here's the time line, thus far, of Tom's cancer story:

July 10 - Diagnosis of stage 4 lung cancer, followed by ct of brain, and a bone scan, both came back clear

August 4 - 1st chemo treatment

August 9 - severe reaction to chemo and is taken by ambulance to hospital, spent 12 days there several of which he was in a coma-like state. kidneys failing, no food, infection etc.

August 20 - strong enough to go to rehab, still on oxygen, but eating normal and getting stronger

August 31 - looking forward to going home in 2 days, but severe breathing problems occur abruptly and he is taken again to the emergency room. ventilator is needed., new ct scan of chest reveals that cancer is worse and has now invaded his bones (note that there was no sign of bone cancer just a month earlier)

Today - Sept. 2 - ventilator is removed and he is breathing on his own with hopes of coming home in another day or two. hospice will be called to help

This is just a brief description of what we've endured in just a short time. I can't express right now, all the emotional turmoil that has gone along with each new crisis. It's a roller coaster that I hope I never ride again! Cancer is a vile thing!!

Yet, we continue to praise God and to rest assured that His plan has a purpose. Here's a picture from Sunday. Tom is joyful even through the storm. What a lesson he teaches us all!

However Long

Wondering if I’ll be on my blog very often over the next
“however long.”

As I write this, I am sitting in a hospital room next to my Step-Dad, Tom. He has stage 4 lung cancer. He went for his first chemo treatment on Aug. 4th and on Aug. 9th was admitted into the hospital having had severe reactions. We weren’t prepared for this. We didn’t consider that within just a few weeks of learning of his cancer that he’d be here, as sick as I’ve ever seen anyone. Sure, I’ve had skin cancer. Just the pesky basal cell. Not life threatening. Not serious. This is stage 4, Incurable. We were told that he would never be healed. We were told that without treatment he would have just months to live. But there is no way that we could have grasped the reality of it all. I’ve never watched anyone die.

Tom is not dying today. He is “fragile” they say. He’s developed an infection. His kidneys are struggling. He is lethargic. He opens his eyes, but I wonder what he sees. His stare is completely blank. He wouldn’t take his medicine tonight. He clinched his teeth as I tried to feed him the crushed pills mixed with applesauce. The machine next to him signaled that his fluid bag was low. Tom reacted to the beeping. He was alarmed. He groaned, he opened his eyes! He reacted… He’s in there!!

Day by day we wait. The doctors can’t give any prognosis right now. He may recover from this “bad reaction.” He may not. We may get him back for a bit, but eventually we will lose him.

Less then 2 weeks ago I was sitting in paradise. I saw rainbows every day. I know God is watching over all of us. I understand that I'm not suppose to understand. I only know to acknowledge Him in all my ways and in return He will direct my path.

More Hawaii pictures... Aren't I blessed?! Hard times will come, but it makes the good times that much sweeter!

Here we are under the banyan tree in maui. It's one of the oldest banyans in the US and it takes up an entire city block. It's amazing!