Saturday, August 15, 2009

However Long

Wondering if I’ll be on my blog very often over the next
“however long.”

As I write this, I am sitting in a hospital room next to my Step-Dad, Tom. He has stage 4 lung cancer. He went for his first chemo treatment on Aug. 4th and on Aug. 9th was admitted into the hospital having had severe reactions. We weren’t prepared for this. We didn’t consider that within just a few weeks of learning of his cancer that he’d be here, as sick as I’ve ever seen anyone. Sure, I’ve had skin cancer. Just the pesky basal cell. Not life threatening. Not serious. This is stage 4, Incurable. We were told that he would never be healed. We were told that without treatment he would have just months to live. But there is no way that we could have grasped the reality of it all. I’ve never watched anyone die.

Tom is not dying today. He is “fragile” they say. He’s developed an infection. His kidneys are struggling. He is lethargic. He opens his eyes, but I wonder what he sees. His stare is completely blank. He wouldn’t take his medicine tonight. He clinched his teeth as I tried to feed him the crushed pills mixed with applesauce. The machine next to him signaled that his fluid bag was low. Tom reacted to the beeping. He was alarmed. He groaned, he opened his eyes! He reacted… He’s in there!!

Day by day we wait. The doctors can’t give any prognosis right now. He may recover from this “bad reaction.” He may not. We may get him back for a bit, but eventually we will lose him.

Less then 2 weeks ago I was sitting in paradise. I saw rainbows every day. I know God is watching over all of us. I understand that I'm not suppose to understand. I only know to acknowledge Him in all my ways and in return He will direct my path.

More Hawaii pictures... Aren't I blessed?! Hard times will come, but it makes the good times that much sweeter!

Here we are under the banyan tree in maui. It's one of the oldest banyans in the US and it takes up an entire city block. It's amazing!


Anonymous said...

I'm sorry. :(
(((hugs))) said...

I am saying prayers for your dad and also for your family. : (

He & Me + 3 said...


That must be so hard for you right now. i will be praying for your family.
Hugs your way,

Beth E. said...

Praying for your step-dad, Leah, and praying for you and your family, too. May you feel God's comfort and peace as only He can give.

Blessed2Serve said...

Continuing to keep all of you in prayer.

Melissa said...

Leah, I can feel your pain and heartache. My hubby lost his father to cancer almost 3 years ago. Stay strong for him and cherish your last moments with him. I will be keeping you in my prayers.